What being "white" in the U.S. meant to me growing up - from a kid to an adult catholic
I do not think you'll regret reading this if you get to the end, you may learn something else or maybe not, maybe it will be for some a reminder of the times we live in and what we are called to do as Catholics.I recently spoke to one of my nephews who is in his early twenties, and a 10 year old niece, and I started out by telling them that this world is like a jungle, like the wilderness that is unexplored and that it holds dangerous animals, poisonous plants, and insects, etc.
My nephew just married recently and he has a Master's degree. I'm white, I'm 100 percent American from many, many generations.
I never knew what the color and "value" of a skin was until I had to blend in into a U.S. world that is full of so much animosity towards each other. I grew up in a home where my parents never, ever spoke racist against people of other color, nation or in short ethnicity. I grew up with catholic values of caring, helping, and respecting others, as well as of forgiving those who do bad things or even harm us.
My neighborhood, I was raised in a big city, was peaceful. Neighbors were caring, decent, and friendly. I grew up with a lot of kids from around my block, we had really, really decent innocent games.
Our times watching T.V. at home was always supervised by our parents, growing in a catholic community made parents share the same values and concerns about us their children, so we were not allowed to watch any programs, movies, or educational series that were or had any kind of violence, or scary things.
In my community we did have the traditional mass and altar facing the wall, complete silence and utmost respect for the temple and the sacraments, the priests and the religious. Silence was optimal, decent moderate dressing and veils for women used. No high heels were allowed inside the church, no tight clothing or clothing with cleavage, no make up wearing, no exotic fragrances. No pants for women or short skirts and tight to their contour, no shorts, and no tight clothing for men either. All was very extremely modest, and all kids knew what respect was inside the church as our parents gave us that example all the time, as well as their love and devotion for all that was holy and those who serve in the church. There were no people reading lectures at all, all was the priest, and the priest only. At the time of communion it was always the priest and the sacristan holding the communion paten, nothing else.
We as kids knew that the church was a Holy place and we were taught tat God was zealous to see we kept that respect and that he was always watching us at all times inside and outside the church, we were taught about our guardian angels. I had an aunt who had that charisma to read to us the Holy Scripture, the bible, and tell us the stories in a way we could understand, as the word in the bible were hard to understand, so she made stories so vivid and colorful that our imagination could live every story with so much intensity and emotion that the holy fear of God and his almightiness entered our hearts and minds in such a way that her words encourage us to be good kids all the time.
Since I was a kid I always have had a kind of blessing to have people listen to me. So just as a T.V. show of the Little rascals, I was called "boss" out of respect by all the kids, and I set up strict rules when it came to behavior, not to make parents upset or angry, not to disobey them, not to do bad things behind their backs; "the respect to your parents truly starts when they do not see you", that was my saying.
Those who did not follow those rules were grounded by me as I told all the kids not to talk or to play with that kid anymore until he changed and until his mom or dad told me they were being good kids. So I had parents always come to me to complain about their kids and I was always the example to follow as a kid and as a teen and as a young adult.
All parents wanted their kids to be like me, their teens to follow my example their young adult to have a purpose in life and take responsibilities serious, as I always knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, and always worked to get to my goal.
I finished 3careers, 2 in science, I graduated with honors as a computer scientist and information system, and a minor in health, and one in business administration.
My example helped all my brothers to always strive to finish a career and to be good people despite our different ways of thinking. Being the oldest, I have always being the example to all my nephews and nieces because all my siblings speak about me to them all the time, and to their wives.
Being white in the U.S. came with benefits that I had no idea I had all the time, until I started blending more into the world to finish my career and being witness of the HORRIBLE MONSTER AND BEAST THAT RACISM AND DISCRIMINATION ARE IN SOCIETY AND THE KIND OF POISON THEY SPREAD AMONG MANY AMERICANS.
My first experience was when I met a nice color lady when I was 8 or 9 years old. She was different to me, and I always called her friend, always said hello, greeted her, smiled at her. As a kid I was SO HAPPY to have a friend that looked different, but I did not pay much attention to that at all.
To her calling her friend was a bit shocking, but she loved it. One day she stopped returning my greetings, my smiles, she just ignored me, at first I thought she did not listen to me and brushed it off, but one day when I finally realized that something was wrong I stopped her, and asked her if I had ever offended her, or done something wrong.
She looked at me and told me not to speak to her ever again. It hurt me so much, that I continue to ask her what I did wrong, she saw my sadness and said to me
"No you have not done anything wrong, but you and I can't be friends. We can not talk to each other anymore".
I asked her to tell me why, but she did not want to say a word. then I said,
"If you tell me why, I promise I will not talk to you again, even though I love to do so".
She grabbed my hand and place it right next to her and said,
"Can you see?"
I had no idea what she was talking about and asked her,
"See what?, are you hurt?"
She said,
"No, look closely as she continued to hold my hand right next to hers"
I said, "No, what's wrong, did something happen to your hand?
She said,
"No, look you are white and I am black"
I looked at her puzzled and confused and said,
"What do you mean you are black and I'm white? I do not understand you?"
She looked at my face and I'm sure she saw sincerity and I dare to say purity.
Her eyes started getting watery and with a broken voice she said,
"I like you very much and I would love to continue being your friend, but I can't. Two ladies told me that if I kept talking to you they were going to talk to my employer and have me fired, and I can't lose my job, my mother and my younger siblings depend on it"
I saw her tears rolling down and I asked her
"What ladies?"
She pointed at a building, and I knew who she was talking about. I was well known all around my block and other blocks around me as people always spoke of me to their kids and the rumor passed on to other blocks that other parents wanted to meet me, and they would bring their kids after school to play in my block with me.
I do have great memories growing up as a child and as a teen. But these two ladies were sisters, probably in their late 40's, early 50s, very pretty ladies, good looking but single. I have no idea why they never marry, I think it had to do with their mom or something like that.
I have never been the curious person to pry on other people's life. To make the story short, I took the courage to talk to these ladies and told them how horrible they were as people. They both loved me as if I was their son. But I reprehended their attitude towards an innocent color woman. But the story had a happy ending. I spoke to her employer who was a famous writer that I had no idea until he was interviewed on T.V. The day I spoke to him I said to him why he would fire my friend for being of a different color than we were. The man was a bit intrigued and had no idea what I was talking about, I told him about the ladies who told her that she would be fired. Fortunately the writer was a good person, and called the lady who was his maid, and said to her that she did not have to worry about anything, or about me being her friend, that he was opposed to things that would destroy such a good friendship. I have to add that I had to sneak in, yes I did some breaking and entering, but I did not break anything I just waited for someone to open the gates and I went inside the house,
Though it was in a big city it had a huge patio, and garden. When another employee spot me and was upset and asked me who let me in, and was about to scold me, I told him why I sneaked in, that employee was also a color man, I saw his anger go away as he heard my story, and he said he would ask his employer if he could see me. He finally came and said I could go ahead, he took me to his employer a white old man with a kind look, I had seen him before, but we were scared of him as one kid said he was a bitter man which he was not. Well it all ended well at the end. The two ladies also apologized to my friend in front of me as they were so sad that I stopped talking to them, they missed me a lot and could not bear my indifference. I was happy all ended well at the end, which reminds me of the movie Pollyanna.
Since then I've always been a defender of those who are being criminalized, marginalized, abused, accused wrongfully or defamed. I had always been the kind of introspective person who looks around and sees who this jungle is such a dangerous place full of pretense, facade, and falsehood.
That even those who you think are your friends become the devil. I have had to teach my children about these dangerous things that here in the U.S. they will be exposed sooner or later, than the world is not what it is because they live under our protection, under our care and love that we as parents build a protective wall full of love and out of the dangers of the outside, but growing up they were exposed to bullies, to mockery, to see abuses done to others, to hear racist comments about other people.
They see, they listen and if necessary they pick the right words not to offend anyone, not to criminalize anyone, or to derogate anyone, but the right words to teach others a lesson of love, empathy and of building relationships not destroying them.
I still have some that are kids, not yet teens. I have been talking to them as they know and hear rumors of all the violence being spread by this administration.
To the little ones, I have a hug, sit them on my lap and appease that with God's love, with our ladies love and their teachings.
One of my daughters when she was 3 years old saw our Lady the Virgin Mary in my house as she entered our bedroom, I was leaving and my wife an my daughter came inside and I had just prayed the rosary, and told them they were with our Lady.
I left for work and when I came back my wife told me what happened, my daughter entered in a state of ecstasies and started looking at a particular place, and said "Mom our lady, she is so beautiful, she is smiling" and my daughter was smiling at her and waving her hand, she would not stop smiling and giggling and looking at someone standing in front of her.
My "white" card came with so many blessings and privileges to this day, and I'm not about to spend it in hatred, racism, discrimination, and animosity. As I mentioned I have become the one defending the underdog, the oppressed, the ones being criminalized, being defamed unjustly for opposing a government that is far from being an example to my kids, us, or anyone here in the U.S. or the entire world.
I do not care if I die doing it and if I'm called a domestic terrorist because I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST AND IN OUR LADY. AND AS A CATHOLIC I AM NOT GONG TO BE SHAME BEFORE THEM FOR DOING WHAT'S RIGHT AN EXPOSING THOSE WHO ARE WORKING FOR THE DEVIL.
I DO NOT HATE ANYONE INT HE GOVERNMENT, I DO HATE THEIR ACTIONS, I DO EXPOSE THEIR CRIMES, AND I DO RAISE MY VOICE AND SHARE THE TRUTH IN INDEPENDENT VIDEOS TAKEN BY PEOPLE AND INDEPENDENT MEDIA.
A COLOR DOES NOT DEFINE WHO WERE ARE, COLOR MEANS NOTHING, ETHNICITY FOR RACIAL DISCRIMINATING PURPOSES MEAN NOTHING.
IN THIS CHANNEL MANY MAGA CATHOLICS HAVE SENT ME DEROGATORY INAPPROPRIATE NASTY COMMENTS USING THE F... WORD AND OTHER WORDS ALIKE, SAYING HORRIBLE UNTHINKABLE THINGS THAT I NEVER THOUGH I WOULD EVER READ IN A PLACE LIKE THIS.
EVEN HAD TWO PRIEST SAYING THINGS THAT ARE WRONG, NO BAD WORDS BUT IT AMOUNTS TO THE SAME PILE OF NUISANCE FULL OF HATRED BEHAVIOR.
I pray for them I teach my kids to always forgive, and to always pray for those who spread hate, to pray for their salvation. Thanks to the Lord I have great kids, who listen, who have clean minds, clean words, who do not speak lies, I blessed them every day all day, and I pray for them all the time and make sue they respect the church, the priests, the religious, and to always strive to be an example to other and help those in need.
WE DO NOT NEED A LUNATIC TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, AT LEAST THE AMERICA I GREW UP WAS GREAT UNTIL BLENDING TO THE WORLD AND EXPLORING THE JUNGLE MORE MADE ME REALIZE HOW DANGEROUS IT IS. I TALK TO MY KIDS ABOUT THESE DANGERS ACCORDING TO THEIR AGE.
I LET THEM KNOW ALL THE TIME HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM, AS WELL AS MY WIFE WHO HAS BEEN THE LIGHT IN MY LIFE AND THE LIGHT IN MY KIDS LIFE, I DO HAVE A WONDERFUL WIFE, NO COMPLAINS, SHE'S PERFECT AN ANGEL IN MY LIFE, AND A GREAT LOVING TRUE AMERICAN MOTHER, VERY SUPPORTIVE, AND COURAGEOUS.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE CALLED US ACTIVISTS FOR THE WAY WE THINK AND THE THINGS WE DO TO HELP OTHER, SOME CALL US PHILANTHROPISTS, OR ALTRUISTS, ETC.
NO WE ARE NOT THAT, WE ARE CATHOLICS.
GOD BLESS.